I fancy myself a human torpedo
Shave my legs and put on my speedo
Ladies think my swimming is real neato
The fact that my nose is bigger than my penis makes me quite sad
My girl doesn’t care tho since in bed I’m already so bad
Let’s face it: I’m not a very stunning lad
People say I’m obnoxious, that the only person who can love me is my mother
But I have my Italian girlfriend, she’s sexy as none other
A real world-class masculine lover
I’m ever so popular
Ask inspire, he’ll concur
Queers stick together for sure!
I am quite the big shot
I like to pretend I’m not a huge twat
By befriending arseholes and also a Scot
Couldn’t get an English girl
When they hear me talk they all hurl
I once had a homosexual experience with a man named Earl.
People say my girlfriend looks just like a man
Looks as if she’s been hit with a frying pan
Love her as much as my bumm buddy from Iran
Everyone understands I’m stoked for Stoke!
Can’t get enough of those sweaty blokes!
Not a single cock I wouldn’t choke!
Men love it when I shave
They tell me to behave
But their touch is all I really crave
I wear my speedo when I take it up the brown
Officially the world’s biggest assclown
Everyone hopes I’ll drown.
Me, Twnz and In-cry-er
utacry 